and it’s not in the end.

i got into fights with both my parents this morning.

my anger and frustration just spilling over and i’m taking it out on people.

i originally told my Dad i needed to use the car today and he said okay. 

and so i made plans thinking i would have it at my disposal.

then this morning he offered to drive me to and fro school instead.

problem: there’s no food near where i’ll be and no shuttle bus service on a Sunday.

so at first i said fine, angrily, and got into the car.

then i couldn’t contain it in the car. 

and so he made a u-turn and turned it back to me.

i think i might have started a cold war.

nevertheless, i’ve figured it out somewhat. 

i guess i just can’t take disappointment after disappointment.

from my parents, my friends and probably most of all myself.

i feel excluded, disadvantaged and unworthy. 

and why don’t i ever fight or work for what i want?

why am i such a let-down?