running after fly-away leaves

and so i find myself immersed in languidness.
this aimlessness makes me uneasy.
i should be out there, running competitively with others – fighting for jobs, courses, scholarships; struggling with applications (a hint of reality, right here).

then something comes to a standstill (i wonder what?).
and i stop, and i want to wait.
naturally, the world continues to dash ahead of me (leaving me no chance to say goodbye), and i remain alone in this vacuum of misplaced ambition.

i listen to songs on loop.
somehow it reminds me of the music of The Glass Menagerie which “dips in and out” of the play, with its “underlying strain of immutable and inexpressible sorrow”, yet not thoroughly.

i’m sick of not knowing what to do with what i have.
then i think of people who don’t even have.
who live amidst slow-burning fires and miscellaneous consumption.

and light seems a little warmer.